The New Guy Be careful of the ‘new guy’ or someone who has ‘ownership’ of a project.  Remember that the wise person is the one that hires you for what you are good at (i.e. [Client says]"We know we want a brochure, and we know the message we want to get out but we want to hire a good designer to execute our idea"). This is a good thing to hear.  Conversely, if you hear something like “Hey, I need a designer to knock out my website.  Here, have a look at what I came up with (they then proceed to send over an awful mix of photography, graphics and, well...’their ideas’ - something that resembles a website circa 1993).


The Management-Level (or higher) Person Who Wants to Inject Their Own ‘Ideas’
Just because you own your own succesful business and have been a General Manager for eons, or have made a butt-load of money in whatever industry that you are familiar with DOES NOT mean that you have any idea whatsoever as to how to build or conduct business online...let alone design an effective website or marketing piece.  Please, in the name of Odin’s Hammer, leave it up to someone who knows what they are doing.


The Engineer Guy Who Wants to Design
Engineers make very poor UI and design. They can have an IQ of 10,000, but couldn’t design a usable interface if their life depended on it. Though there may be an exception here and there - someone who can do both, these people are few and far between.  And if you are an engineer that is reading this, in all likelihood you are not one of those exceptions.


The IT Guy Who Thinks That He Can Do Anything With a Computer and Mouse
IT guys are almost as bad as engineers.  They think, because they know the ins and outs of DNS, IIS, NAT, PPP, VNC or can operate the entire universe from a command line, that they can also build a good application or e-commerce system...and furthermore, they should bring the design of the company website (and almost always the Intranet) in-house.  Nothing could be farther from the truth.  (Boooonnnnggggggg - Ancient Gong has rung...pay attention) Every sizable company (who has an IT department) has at least one massively arrogant, piss-on-the-world, I-am-smarter-than-everyone-else and don’t-speak-to-me-unless-you-are-spoken-to-first, type of IT guy.  Pray that this is not your point of contact on a project that he felt should have been brought in-house in the first place.  He will push you to the very edge of the fiery depths of Mount Doom itself.


The Super Enthusiastic, Short-Deadline-Requesting,
No-Budget-Having-Are-You-Interested-in-a-Partnership-Guy

Someone comes to you, super enthusiastic - wanting a quote IMMEDIATELY, essentially tells you that the fate of Millions of dollars are in this project - and now in your hands, says that he will follow up TOMORROW, then disappears for a few weeks, comes back - animated, wondering why you are moving so slow or not responding quickly to the message they sent two weeks ago.  You foolishly do some work for them, and realize very soon that this person no longer cares about this project and you then become a nuisance to him because you are simply trying to finish the project.  Nice…


Super Tight Deadline Guy or Gal
This person often does not listen.  All they are concerned about is how tight their deadline is.  And interestingly enough, the more a potential client talks about the deadline and how fast things need to move, it almost seems that these are the type of people who are least reliable in terms of managing their own time.  Yes, I know we are providing the service and we are to be a good provider - and helping the client to execute their vision.  Still, does this mean that we want clients that won’t listen to us, suggestions, experience...?  Absolutely not.  This is what they are hiring us for, right?


Mr. or Mrs. Scope Creep
I’ve been saying ‘Guy’ up to this point because, in my opinion it is easier to work with women on creative projects than men.  Not sure why, but it may have something to do with the male ego (yes, I’m a male with an ego myself).  I think women are more likely to admit when they don’t understand something or need you to explain things better.  Men just kind of shake their head yes as if they’re an expert - then you realize later that they didn’t listen to a word you ever said.  But, with this one, Mr and Mrs. Scope-Creep.  Women and men are about equal on this one.  I think it is important to note that when someone increases the scope of a project it is not always intentional.  Nevertheless, this is a VERY DANGEROUS scenario - one that will not only send you into a bezerker frenzy - but can ruin a project, client relationships and even the relationships with your fellow designers and developers.


The Young Marketing Manager
This one can be a he or she - or maybe even a he-she.  Regardless, they are young know absolutely nothing about design, marketing or the web but said company has decided that they are now ‘in charge’ of the corporate redesign.  So they strap on their ‘make a good impression on my boss’ hat - and, behold, you are now their beootch.  Doesn’t matter how long you’ve been doing what you do..or how good you are.  You are now under the watchful eye of an untrained, marketing beserker.  By the end of this project you will need some time off..mark my words…